Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? Matilda: Bambinatum! . Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? What can I do? "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! MISS TRUNCHBULL [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] 2. Agatha Trunchbull: Is your nickname glucose? BIG KID [BEN] Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. Keep out of reach of children. AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. He's over there, under those coats. He flails around the stage.] Matilda Wormwood is an exception . MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. The most common thing in life is life . Hup, two, four, free. I'm the best! Hmm. ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE MATILDA I'm incredible! In this classroom, in this school, I am god! My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. Miracle! After your first day of school! But it's a truth empirical. See, I know your headmistress. This it not your problem. MISS HONEY The table stops and the hands hit the ground. said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. I love my school. I? This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! That love and fate and a touch of stupidity [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. 4. For this newt you pin-worm! I like a joke as well as the next fat person! Oh, yeah? It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. . Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? Matilda: COUPLES Crazy Credits . I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. Mum, would you like to hear a story? Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. You cannot see squat . MRS WORMWOOD And do you tell them lots of stories like you do with me? DOCTOR Flipping, filthy, nasty, stupid Russians! And it's made of spikes and wood. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. Harry Wormwood: You gotta be loud! AAAAAHHHHH! [off to the side] For men. Zinnia Wormwood: One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. . Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. Stop being pathetic, Jenny. MRS WORMWOOD . He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. A bell rings. You missed it. [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Extra strong. TOMMY . Even time loves us.". Just you wait for phys-ed! Or even two, Bruce, Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. . You don't let me talk to people! You have a worm, They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. Harry Wormwood: 'Cause your life as you know it is "aitcH"-ent history. [interrupting] She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. There's nothing you can get from a book that you can't get from a television faster. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! Your hair! MAN: Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. MATILDA My mommy thinks they're sweet. Past Matilda. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. [tosses the cereal in the air] There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. In . What is the school motto, Miss Honey? Are you listening? Like you, I was curious, It's . Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? Roald Dahl's Matilda The Musical. Oh, yeah. MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Right. To stand up and be proud! 18 Best Pick-Up Lines Ever (Cheesy, Dirty, Funny, Cute & Romantic) Jane Eyre . Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. Cover yourself in chocolate glory! MATILDA 9:17 is correct. If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Mind? How sweet. Another flaming book? And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. You have to put it right. MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA I did *not* glue my hat to my head! 30+ Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 MR WORMWOOD Hanging down by your ears. Matilda: I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. I'm not paying it. The scene unfreezes. Please. MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Yes. MATILDA [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] And sailed high up, up above the stands There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN It's the mileage. . As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Alternate Versions 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. . 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! MISS TRUNCHBULL Are they good runners? . MRS WORMWOOD A little less head, a lot more derriere. BIG KIDS Wormwood! MISS TRUNCHBULL Come on, Bruce, be our hero. It is, is it? It's not a cheap set, it's a stolen set! What have I told you about wearing pigtails? [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] DOCTOR RUDOLPHO Harry Wormwood: What you know matters less At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. And I will Teach you a thing or two. How do you do this? Yes, Miss Trunchbull. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? Adopt me, Miss Honey! Oh, it will only take a moment. ? 125 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines (Plus, Bumble Pick Up Lines) - Parade RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. . Past Alice. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". They line up at the back of the stage. You've not got the spine. Then your mummy is a twit! MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. Between you and it, <> You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. My daddy says I'm his special little guy! I can! [talks to the woman librarian] Now, eat it. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. MRS PHELPS You're off to school in a few days' time. She seems not to know that she's special at all. It's time you learned the family business. I didn't do it. What? What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. Trunchbull: The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . Prettier barrelina! It's just pathetic! Agatha, This is Magnus. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Lavender? I'd love to meet her, actually . So, what is it? Trunchbull: No kid likes being yelled at. green! Jack and Jill went up the hill Well I had to take a shower, Harry! 140 Pickup lines ideas | pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy Well, this crime took place before school started. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. That kids like me should be against the law. [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. 125 Best Tinder & Bumble Pick Up Lines That Are Funny, Cute and Totally Flirty Up your online dating game with these sweet one-liners. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. A poem? Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. MISS HONEY What about rules, Honey? You should be embarrassed. I don't know. Stand back, son! (Bruce!) MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. I have my ion you. Maybe. MRS WORMWOOD . 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) - STYLECRAZE I didn't do anything! A weakling? See you tomorrow! MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN She uses them to carry on a conversation. Sell me a lemon? Can't you sell good cars, Dad? [comes up to her and Matilda stands up] Meet Matilda. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. You'd better hide! Oh, my good Lord! How far can you go? No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh, yes. He surely can't! MISS TRUNCHBULL See you next week. MRS PHELPS enters. . Matilda: WOMAN: Well, take another! Four times two is eight. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. I don't know what you're talking about. Yes! | "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. They're trying to scare us. That is the biggest hug in the world. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Jenny: I will not say anymore! [He laughs then peters out.] How can I make up my own pickup line? I think in effect, MISS HONEY The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Yourself, Matilda? BIG KID [RYAN] That's the bananas right there. But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Do you think I would allow myself to be defeated by these maggots, do you? You and I must be Weedles. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. A DOCTOR enters. Miss Trunchbull kept the whole school late because this boy ate some chocolate cake. What do you think might be the cause of this? Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? . 2. Yeah. . Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. We don't want to burst a blood vessel on your first day. MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. Back before my life had ended, MRS PHELPS Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. MICHAEL sits on his lap. . They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the Incredible Hulk, Lavender as a Princess, Nigel as Spiderman, Bruce in army gear, Amanda as Superwoman, Alice as Wonder Woman, Hortensia as a queen. He's going to blow. BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Million $ Sticky Host: Dad said I'd learn the alphabet! MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Does that mean I can get that new TV? "Right"? I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. You? To read? Mrs. F-F-I. Back before my life had eNded, The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. And if you cry it will be (W) double. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Is the first word . He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! BIG KID [TAYLOR] MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. Matilda: [to MATILDA] You! We can spell "difficulty". Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. MR WORMWOOD . Oh, very rich. Look at these trophies. Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! The fibers fused to my hair! Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. You chose books - I chose looks. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Now EAT IT! . Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? . Babes, I'm on fire, here! Where are you going? Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. What is this trash you're reading? MATILDA's classmates enter hesitantly from the front of the stage. Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Just because you find that life's not fair, it Has incredible upper-body strength. MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. The second one cost $512. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. That's not normal for a five-year-old. I don't know. That is a promise. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. [turns to Michael] ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] A single slice, MISS HONEY enters and knocks. MISS TRUNCHBULL Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. If you want to throw the hammer for your country. And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, I chose looks! The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. You have to put it right . You should stay out of trouble Restores my faith in human kind. Bye-bye, sir. The apple never rots far from the tree! A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. Well, you got a light. Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. Harry Wormwood: Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. MATILDA DOCTOR "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. Find the bally line and toe it, [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] From a book in the library. His fingie. Matilda: Matilda? Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Matilda: Your old man is going to work. Just go up and introduce yourself. MISS TRUNCHBULL . Loud, loud, loud, loud! A really strong stomach. Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? [noticing her books] Pokemon Pick Up Lines. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] . MR WORMWOOD Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. DOCTOR The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. And if you cry it will be double. Jenny: Shut up! ALICE and HORTENSIA The 3rd cost $68. [Daintily, straightening her collar, MISS TRUNCHBULL exits off the front of the stage.]. MRS WORMWOOD Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, That lady? The DOCTOR exits and MR WORMWOOD hurries after him. That's not right. . Every life I bring into this world Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. I want you around here now with another car! Well, take another! Look what you've done, you stupid woman. "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. Ahh! The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. Why? You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. . He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. MATILDA We're rehearsing. Eight times two is sixteen. Harry Wormwood: Matilda Quotes That's where Ms. Trunchbull lives. And so you think you're able Good hair means a good brain. "So I hear you are the Head Girl of your house". Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. That's exactly what you've done. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. The scene changes to the library. You wanted cake, you got cake! Whether you like it or not. Trunchbull: Just you wait for phys-ed. MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. DOCTOR "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! You see, unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the rare, but chronic sleep disorder, narcolepsy. They then saunter off. . Why? Do you ever lie down at night, look up at the stars and think about all the messed-up things in the world? I'll come back later, then. . Could I speak to you for a moment, please? You've made an awful error. He surely can't! Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. Goofs Wonderful. But here it is, coming true: Okay! To fetch a pail of water. Whee! In the cupboard. BOTH: What a dear! When I grow up . Stand up and be proud! Is it time for school yet, mum? [She murmurs along to the music.] MATILDA 22 Best Matilda quotes ideas | matilda quotes, matilda, quotes I think I'm gonna keep this on. Oh, y -, [she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up]. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". I'll say! The school bell rings and all the children march out. Knock on the door, Jenny. Jenny: You can read words.
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